I'm pickin' up good vi-bra-tions

-Heath, Lockhart wants to work in Baghdad with you. I'll email you her contact information in the near future.
-Amber, Lockhart wants to sell her ova. I'll email you her contact information in the near future.
-Megan, I'm comin', bitch, prepare for hott lake action!

Just gotten hom after my LAST FINAL OF THE SUMMER TERM and, though approaching drunk, I'm in a packing fury in anticipation of the morning's flight to SUNNY FUCKING CALIFORNIA BEACHES. A few days in Berkeley and San Francisco (records! records! RECORDS!) with Vi's musician uncle, camping in the Redwoods, a rental car drive south on Highway 1 for a couple of days (Big Sur! Lovely Cove!), visit's with Travis' girlfriend's gay dad in Riverside (I think?), other random stops as merited, terminus in San Diego with Nicolette for a few days, flight to Little Rock, night with Brady and The Peeps, few days with the folks and family (ex-con brother soon to wed!), U-Haul from the Natural State to Sic Semper Tyrranis (fucking liars), and collapse here with exhaustion after two weeks of anadistricification.

Sorry, D.C., but I'm hating you right now. The pure, immodest sunshine of the coast is the only cure for this fever. I want to find a sign for Marin Couty for the satisfaction of scrawling "Breast Cancer Capital of the WORLD" across it. You see why I need this vacation.

Send adress for pornographic postcoard pleasantries.



P.S.-- "I eat your ass like fiddle faddle?" Oh my god, I LOVE this album!
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Addendum, 11.29 pm

We finally finished off the beer that I couldn't bear leaving for my asshole Jordanian roomate. It's called Frat Jenga: two four packs of Delirium Tremens (The Best Beer in the World), nine Miller Lites (The Best Beer in the World) and six Coronas leftover from when we ran out of limes last weekend. I think I'm responsible for all but four DTs and two MLs. I am drunk, but still have a Xanax saved up for the sic hour voyage en avion tomorrow. WE'LL BRING YOU SOME FUCKING SAND.

Check it out, C-130s: C-130 Promotional Beverage Cooler mnakes a cameo appearance slouching in a daze on my printer. Rule!



VVAACCAATTIIOONN!!